What Is Your EQ?
For many decades IQ—or, Intelligence Quotient—has been used to gauge a person’s intelligence. However, studies in the field of Psychology also reveal the importance of EQ, or EI—Emotional Intelligence.
EI fills in where IQ comes up short. IQ simply does not tell the whole story of a person’s cognitive ability, strengths and giftedness, as had been believed my the masses for many years. EI is so important that Fortune 500 Companies today search for CEOs who rank high in EI!
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
EI is the ability to identify, understand, manage, and use your emotions successfully. When a person is high in EI, they can recognize emotions in themself and others.
The ability to recognize emotions in self and others is extremely important:
- Self—To be able to understand how you feel is crucial to managing your life and enjoying it to the fullest.
- When a person knows they are happy they can bask in it, and begin to recognize how a person, place or event helped put them in their “happy place.” From that point, they can take steps to manage how and when they put themselves in those circumstances that foster their happiness.
- When a person doesn’t know how to recognize the negative emotions they feel, they may at some point end up losing control of their emotions without ever see it coming. When this occurs, they may say or do something they will later regret.
- Others–To be able to recognize emotions in others enables a person to adjust their approach in their interaction with the other party:
- Having high EI in this context is about “reading your audience.”
- The “other party” could be an individual, a small support group, or a large group in an auditorium, for instance.
Depending on the context, having high EI can make all the difference between taking a situation to the next level of success or driving it off a cliff into ruin! Whether it be properly handling the delicacies of a romantic relationship or a CEO leading a Fortune 500 company to success, EI can make all the difference! EI is all about correctly reading the signals then learning to effectively manage them in a way that promotes the greatest success and well-being of all parties involved.
EI is all about correctly reading the signals and learning to effectively manage them in a way that promotes the greatest success and well-being of all parties involved.
–Tom Ligi, Positive Psychology Consultant & Human Potential Coach
Emotions–An Integral Part of Life
Emotions play an integral role in life. From buying a car with the specific features you want to discovering Meaning in your life. If a person cannot recognize the emotion within themself, they are missing out on much in life–from missed opportunities for celebrations along life’s dusty highway, to warning signs that tell you to change your direction or approach, as needed, to a person or situation.
In addition, if a person is struggling with negative emotions but fails to recognize them, it will be very difficult for them to articulate how they feel. If they cannot do that, they may not get the help they need.
In relationships with your significant other, family, friends, co-workers, it is advantageous to not only recognize what you feel under different contexts, but recognize how they feel also.
In relationships with your significant other, family, friends, co-workers, it is advantageous to not only recognize what you feel under different contexts, but recognize how they feel also.
–Tom Ligi, Positive Psychology Consultant & Human Potential Coach
Developing EI
When considering EI in a person’s Life Domains, there are many different areas that elicit emotions–positive and negative. To develop EI, a person needs to begin to recognize how things and events impact their emotions, for instance:
- Person—Recognize how a person makes you feel. Do they inspire you? … drain you? … encourage you? Did they make you feel like you are smothering? Once you can recognize how a person affects you, you can take steps to improve the relationship, better manage it. Would some adjustment or adjustments help? Do you need to spend more time with this person? Or do you have to limit the time you interact with this person? Understanding how a person affects your emotional state can shed light on your relationship with this person—and shed light on yourself. Albeit, it is not always possible to turn a difficult situation into an ideal outcome, but awareness is fundamental to starting manage your emotions. From there, you can focus on the things you have the power to improve so you could make changes to improve the quality of your life.
- Place—Recognize how particular places make you feel. For instance, when you go to the park, try to be in the moment so you can take in your surroundings and recognize how it makes you feel. You may notice that such an experience may cause you to have an increased awareness of how a particular environment can make you feel. This increased awareness can lead you to make time for spending time in nature if it replenishes your energy and gives you a mood boost. For environments that drain you, you may choose to limit going to those places if it is possible.
- Event—Recognize how an event you experience makes you feel. What emotions does it bring up for you? How does it make you feel afterward? Are you energized? Motivated? Inspired? Drained? Depressed?
- Activity—Recognize how a particular activity makes you feel. Many people enjoy gardening in the summer. They enjoy being out in the fresh air with the sun shining down upon them. They delight in planting and nurturing something and watching it grow. They later enjoy the fruits of their labors with succulent, fresh produce that they grew themselves. On the other hand, some people enjoy snow skiing. They love the brisk, clean air on a snowy mountain top as they swoosh their way down the slopes. Still, some people enjoy playing a musical instrument—which is not contingent upon the weather. Others, paint, clean the house, exercise, call a friend, etc.
Who’s In Charge–You or Your Emotions?
Developing EI can start today. As you encounter each day, pay attention to how you feel as you experience a particular phenomenon. As you do, ask yourself, “Is this emotion serving my needs right now?”
For instance, if you feel blue while paying respects to a deceased loved one at the funeral home–yes, feeling blue will help you attune to your true feelings and to those of the family who mourn the loss of the loved one. Feeling blue, in this case, can help you connect with others who are also feeling the same loss.
On the other hand, if you feel excited and validated for the promotion at work you worked so hard for, yes, these emotions are serving your needs. In this latter case, bask in them!
When it comes to emotions, they are Positive or Negative. There is no good or bad when it comes to emotions. They all serve a purpose. It’s about recognizing them and learning to manage them for your greatest happiness and well-being!
If you’d like to learn more about developing your EI and managing your emotions to your greatest advantage, contact Thrivenity Life Coaching today at 570-507-1573. Have a Thriving day!